During a work conversation today, between myself and a woman I'll call X (because it sounds all mysterious).
X: Oh, I have a few kids, when I get together with my other friend, we just let them run wild while we invent cocktails.
Me: That's great! I'm just thankful my cat doesn't bother me while I'm drinking.
X: I had cats at your age too, but I had my first when I was a little older than you.
Me: Actually, I'm childfree by choice. I'm not going to have children.
X: If that's the right decision for you, then good for you! I'll bet your life is a lot quieter than mine!
Me: *stunned into silence*
Isn't it sad that this kind of positive response is stunning? Not even a bingo from this woman. X is now in my file of "okay parents".
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Quote of the Day
Copied from Jezebel.com's "Midweek Madness", a wrap-up of the best in weekly supermarket tabloids. Don't judge me.
'Anyway, Pattikins says: "I want to be called 'Mom.' It really is the most beautiful word in the English language." And here I thought the most beautiful words were "drinks on me."'
You can read all the funny here.
'Anyway, Pattikins says: "I want to be called 'Mom.' It really is the most beautiful word in the English language." And here I thought the most beautiful words were "drinks on me."'
You can read all the funny here.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Weekends Without Kids
The other day, a few of my co-workers were complaining about having to do more work during weekends and vacations. Why? Because their children were out of school and they had to take care of them at home. All of them. At once. Since a few of them were hanging around, my officemate asked how many could do a class on a weekend morning. All of them shrieked "available!", as if fleeing from the trauma of frozen waffles and Saturday morning cartoons. Then they turned to me. The following ensued:
Officemate: Looks like Saturdays are great for everyone, how about you?
Me: Not me. Can't we do it during the week some morning?
Officemate: What, are you busy or something?
Me: Yes, very. Between my friends, my family, my traveling, and the classes I volunteered to teach, I'm booked up for the next five Saturdays.
Officemate: You can be busy on a weekend without kids?
I would like to say that she's still alive and in possession of all her faculties, but I was pissed. Once again, the assumption that the child-free person can work around all the kids in the office was in full force. Also, the assumption that since I don't have kids, my weekends are an empty void of empty emptiness, lacking in all things that make it sooooo worth it (I can buy my own frozen waffles, thanks). I told her in no uncertain terms that I was not giving up my weekends no matter what. If everyone wants to flee their kids that's fine, but my weekends are quietly and happily filled with my own life.
For the record, the officemate in question has five kids. And often says that she wouldn't with motherhood on her worst enemy. And yet, there we are.
Officemate: Looks like Saturdays are great for everyone, how about you?
Me: Not me. Can't we do it during the week some morning?
Officemate: What, are you busy or something?
Me: Yes, very. Between my friends, my family, my traveling, and the classes I volunteered to teach, I'm booked up for the next five Saturdays.
Officemate: You can be busy on a weekend without kids?
I would like to say that she's still alive and in possession of all her faculties, but I was pissed. Once again, the assumption that the child-free person can work around all the kids in the office was in full force. Also, the assumption that since I don't have kids, my weekends are an empty void of empty emptiness, lacking in all things that make it sooooo worth it (I can buy my own frozen waffles, thanks). I told her in no uncertain terms that I was not giving up my weekends no matter what. If everyone wants to flee their kids that's fine, but my weekends are quietly and happily filled with my own life.
For the record, the officemate in question has five kids. And often says that she wouldn't with motherhood on her worst enemy. And yet, there we are.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Le Divorce, Childfreely
Yes, like most of America, I am now divorced (hence the lack of posts for a bit). The "starter marriage" is over, the juicer and toaster were divided equally, and it's all over...save for a missing book or two. However, it's worth mentioning that over the course of said divorce, I discovered the one situation where people congratulate you for not having kids.
"Oh, you're getting a divorce? I'm so sorry! You were so smart to not have kids, it would be so much more difficult!"
If I had a dollar for every time I heard this throughout Le Divorce, I'd have a shiny new Coach bag. Apparently, getting divorced is the one get-out-of-kids-free situation in our society. Suddenly, my childed friends (and relatives, and co-workers) were praising my foresight in not having children and putting them through a divorce. Now I'm the woman who Planned Ahead, the woman who was Smart Enough to Not Have Kids, the woman who Was Right to Think Things Through.
It should be mentioned that this point was really hammered home by an event at my work. A woman I was talking to was asking me about Le Divorce, how easy it was and so forth. Sadly, her marriage isn't working out, but she has three kids and isn't sure about how to go through with all this without traumatizing the kids. I wasn't really sure what to tell her, but I got the general response: "I love my kids, but...you're so lucky."
I don't know how long this is going to last, but I'm going to enjoy this to the fullest. At last, venerated for being childfree!
"Oh, you're getting a divorce? I'm so sorry! You were so smart to not have kids, it would be so much more difficult!"
If I had a dollar for every time I heard this throughout Le Divorce, I'd have a shiny new Coach bag. Apparently, getting divorced is the one get-out-of-kids-free situation in our society. Suddenly, my childed friends (and relatives, and co-workers) were praising my foresight in not having children and putting them through a divorce. Now I'm the woman who Planned Ahead, the woman who was Smart Enough to Not Have Kids, the woman who Was Right to Think Things Through.
It should be mentioned that this point was really hammered home by an event at my work. A woman I was talking to was asking me about Le Divorce, how easy it was and so forth. Sadly, her marriage isn't working out, but she has three kids and isn't sure about how to go through with all this without traumatizing the kids. I wasn't really sure what to tell her, but I got the general response: "I love my kids, but...you're so lucky."
I don't know how long this is going to last, but I'm going to enjoy this to the fullest. At last, venerated for being childfree!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
The Perks of Getting Carded
It was mentioned on another childfree blog I enjoy how much younger childfree people look (the post is here). It was really funny timing, since my husband and I were just carded at a bar in San Destin on Saturday night.
We're in Florida for a bit to puppy-sit for my husband's folks, and we decided to hit up some beachfront bars. We found one that had a great selection of mojitos (one of my favorite drinks), and sidled up to the bar. The bartender took our order (Florida wins for nicest, friendliest bartenders), then asked for ID. She was fairly sure my husband was around 22, but she was very unsure about me. I thanked her for stroking my ego and handed over my license. After a few minutes of gaping, she called her co-tender over and made her look. Then they gaped for another few minutes.
I'm almost 32. My husband is 37.
They asked my secret, and I said it was simple:
1. Good food, and lots of good fats and olive oil.
2. Lots of good wine. Lots.
3. No kids. Leads to the kind of life where you can get carded well into your 30's.
We're in Florida for a bit to puppy-sit for my husband's folks, and we decided to hit up some beachfront bars. We found one that had a great selection of mojitos (one of my favorite drinks), and sidled up to the bar. The bartender took our order (Florida wins for nicest, friendliest bartenders), then asked for ID. She was fairly sure my husband was around 22, but she was very unsure about me. I thanked her for stroking my ego and handed over my license. After a few minutes of gaping, she called her co-tender over and made her look. Then they gaped for another few minutes.
I'm almost 32. My husband is 37.
They asked my secret, and I said it was simple:
1. Good food, and lots of good fats and olive oil.
2. Lots of good wine. Lots.
3. No kids. Leads to the kind of life where you can get carded well into your 30's.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Totally Unscientific Reporting
I've been trying to be more social lately, and it gets me into some interesting conversations, especially at gay bars. As you may or may not know, lots of women like to frequent gay bars mostly meant for men. Why? For starters, you never have to worry about drunks jerks grabbing your ass. Secondly, the music is much better. And thirdly, it gives lots of women an excuse to not dress up, since they won't be in a meat-market setting (which is another rant in and of itself, but we'll leave that for now).
Once a woman is freed from the expectations of a meat-market heterosexual club, they tend to be a lot more relaxed, open, and willing to talk and have a good time. They talk about their lives, and, of course, if they have children or not. And no less than three women told me that while they loved their children, if they had the opportunity, they would definitely be childfree. Every single one said that, given the chance, they would not have their kids.
Maybe it was the vodka talking, but I can't help thinking that if we as a society encouraged women to thoroughly consider their reproductive options from a young age, young mothers wouldn't be flocking to gay bars for an escape.
Once a woman is freed from the expectations of a meat-market heterosexual club, they tend to be a lot more relaxed, open, and willing to talk and have a good time. They talk about their lives, and, of course, if they have children or not. And no less than three women told me that while they loved their children, if they had the opportunity, they would definitely be childfree. Every single one said that, given the chance, they would not have their kids.
Maybe it was the vodka talking, but I can't help thinking that if we as a society encouraged women to thoroughly consider their reproductive options from a young age, young mothers wouldn't be flocking to gay bars for an escape.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Happy "Still Not A Mom Day"!
Yes, that's right, I'm taking it back for us CF folks. This is just a working title, but on a day when most people celebrate a "miraculous" act that anyone can do (except a man, but sperm is definitely involved), maybe we should celebrate the "miracle" of sticking to our guns in an outrageously pro-natalist society.
From a purely retail perspective, Mum's Day has become another Valentine's Day. You have to make a reservation months in advance, preferably at some really swanky restaurant for an overpriced brunch that includes a harp. Menus are often whittled down to a few specific options so the kitchens can keep up with the demand. Most of us who wouldn't put up with this on the Massacre itself gladly fork over $45 a head just to make a mom feel special.
I'm going to say here that I'm not against doing this per se, I just think it's kind of a bad idea and a lot of hassle. Fixed menus really annoy me. If you're going to spend the money to go to a nice restaurant, chances are you want the full range of options available to you. If your mother really does want to do this, then why not do it the day before, just to avoid the crowds?
And as for the entitlement-minded mummies, you get one day. Just one. The rest of the year, you really do have to live with the decisions you made, because you can't just leave them in front of Wal-Mart like a box of puppies.
From a purely retail perspective, Mum's Day has become another Valentine's Day. You have to make a reservation months in advance, preferably at some really swanky restaurant for an overpriced brunch that includes a harp. Menus are often whittled down to a few specific options so the kitchens can keep up with the demand. Most of us who wouldn't put up with this on the Massacre itself gladly fork over $45 a head just to make a mom feel special.
I'm going to say here that I'm not against doing this per se, I just think it's kind of a bad idea and a lot of hassle. Fixed menus really annoy me. If you're going to spend the money to go to a nice restaurant, chances are you want the full range of options available to you. If your mother really does want to do this, then why not do it the day before, just to avoid the crowds?
And as for the entitlement-minded mummies, you get one day. Just one. The rest of the year, you really do have to live with the decisions you made, because you can't just leave them in front of Wal-Mart like a box of puppies.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)