A Funny Thing Happened

During a work conversation today, between myself and a woman I'll call X (because it sounds all mysterious).

X:  Oh, I have a few kids, when I get together with my other friend, we just let them run wild while we invent cocktails.

Me:  That's great!  I'm just thankful my cat doesn't bother me while I'm drinking.

X:  I had cats at your age too, but I had my first when I was a little older than you.

Me:  Actually, I'm childfree by choice.  I'm not going to have children.

X:  If that's the right decision for you, then good for you!  I'll bet your life is a lot quieter than mine!

Me:  *stunned into silence*

Isn't it sad that this kind of positive response is stunning?  Not even a bingo from this woman.  X is now in my file of "okay parents".

Quote of the Day

Copied from Jezebel.com's "Midweek Madness", a wrap-up of the best in weekly supermarket tabloids.  Don't judge me.

'Anyway, Pattikins says: "I want to be called 'Mom.' It really is the most beautiful word in the English language." And here I thought the most beautiful words were "drinks on me."'


You can read all the funny here.

Weekends Without Kids

The other day, a few of my co-workers were complaining about having to do more work during weekends and vacations.  Why?  Because their children were out of school and they had to take care of them at home.  All of them.  At once.  Since a few of them were hanging around, my officemate asked how many could do a class on a weekend morning.  All of them shrieked "available!", as if fleeing from the trauma of frozen waffles and Saturday morning cartoons.  Then they turned to me. The following ensued:

Officemate:  Looks like Saturdays are great for everyone, how about you?

Me:  Not me.  Can't we do it during the week some morning?

Officemate:  What, are you busy or something?

Me:  Yes, very.  Between my friends, my family, my traveling, and the classes I volunteered to teach, I'm booked up for the next five Saturdays.

Officemate:  You can be busy on a weekend without kids?

I would like to say that she's still alive and in possession of all her faculties, but I was pissed.  Once again, the assumption that the child-free person can work around all the kids in the office was in full force.  Also, the assumption that since I don't have kids, my weekends are an empty void of empty emptiness, lacking in all things that make it sooooo worth it (I can buy my own frozen waffles, thanks).  I told her in no uncertain terms that I was not giving up my weekends no matter what.  If everyone wants to flee their kids that's fine, but my weekends are quietly and happily filled with my own life.

For the record, the officemate in question has five kids.  And often says that she wouldn't with motherhood on her worst enemy.  And yet, there we are.

Le Divorce, Childfreely

Yes, like most of America, I am now divorced (hence the lack of posts for a bit).  The "starter marriage" is over, the juicer and toaster were divided equally, and it's all over...save for a missing book or two.  However, it's worth mentioning that over the course of said divorce, I discovered the one situation where people congratulate you for not having kids.

"Oh, you're getting a divorce?  I'm so sorry!  You were so smart to not have kids, it would be so much more difficult!"

If I had a dollar for every time I heard this throughout Le Divorce, I'd have a shiny new Coach bag.  Apparently, getting divorced is the one get-out-of-kids-free situation in our society.  Suddenly, my childed friends (and relatives, and co-workers) were praising my foresight in not having children and putting them through a divorce.  Now I'm the woman who Planned Ahead, the woman who was Smart Enough to Not Have Kids, the woman who Was Right to Think Things Through.

It should be mentioned that this point was really hammered home by an event at my work.  A woman I was talking to was asking me about Le Divorce, how easy it was and so forth.  Sadly, her marriage isn't working out, but she has three kids and isn't sure about how to go through with all this without traumatizing the kids.  I wasn't really sure what to tell her, but I got the general response:  "I love my kids, but...you're so lucky."

I don't know how long this is going to last, but I'm going to enjoy this to the fullest.  At last, venerated for being childfree!